


The Monsters in your Head

by Bubbling_Drabbles



Series: Twin monarch au [4]
Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Body Horror, Dreams and Nightmares, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbling_Drabbles/pseuds/Bubbling_Drabbles
Summary: With the Old Light dead, something new is arriving... Something to make old wounds fester, and breed paranoia.
Series: Twin monarch au [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647178
Kudos: 3





	1. A spark in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will be encompassing it's own dream/nightmare, and progressively, more and more of what happens afterwards. So they may be a bit short, but shorter chapters means more chapters!

Night... It was always the worst time, the most conflicting time. The young vessel laid awake in bed, restless and unsettled, yet weary, so desperately needing rest... Seeker always tried to keep themself awake like this, but after already spending the last two nights staying up, they couldn't help themself. They couldn't keep their eyes open any longer, no matter the internal protests… The world slipped into an uneasy darkness, quiet, stillness- no, NO! 

No, they couldn't sleep, never in their life had that been a good thing. Dreams would do terrible things to the unwary, torment them, infect them, gods could only imagine what else. Seeker sat up straight, opening their eyes and shaking their head. How were they going to keep themself up another night like this..? Maybe.. Just getting out of bed would do the trick. Walking away had helped from time to time before, surely this would be just the same!

They just needed to be up and moving to wake themself up, and then back before their twin noticed their absence, that was all. Simple, routine even! Seeker slipped out of bed as quietly as they could, before going to walk down the hall. The vessel paused though, as they passed a mirror... Was that always there? Ah, Hollow was trying to get fancy things into the house all the time, talking about "basic furniture" or whatever- probably just that! Though, maybe.. it wouldn't hurt to take a quick look? They'd never actually gotten a chance to mess around in a real mirror before- just their reflection in puddles and stuff!

Yeah, totally! They needed to pass the time and keep themself awake anyways, a distraction would probably do them some good. Seeker turned and approached the mirror, softly chiming in a curious tone and looking into the darkened glass. The darkened... Glowing.. Glass? 

_"That can't be right..."_

The teen rubbed their eyes, slightly cocking their head as they looked back up to their reflection. 

_"Wh-"_

Something was wrong. Their normally black, hollow eyes didn’t look right.. As if there was something within, a soft red glow. And their horns seemed a bit bigger- they wouldn’t have grown that fast, would they? No, surely not. The vessel stepped back, a familiar heavy chill sinking into their gut, though a searing heat settled in their chest- both feelings they knew, feelings that didn’t match, that didn’t belong. Though their mulling over their feelings was cut short as they suddenly stumbled, falling onto their back and whining a bit. Why was everything so wrong? What did they even trip on- was that a bug? A person? A...

...

Why was there a body in their house?  
Why did their reflection look wrong? Why was everything getting darker? Seeker scrambled to their feet, claws raking into the walls as they frantically grasped for purchase. This was all wrong, one brief stroll away from their twin to keep themself awake, aware, ready for everything- gods, they weren't ready for this!! What even was this? They whirled around, once again found themself faced with the mirror. Eyes burning a horrendous furious red, horns twisted up, sharp and dark, their wings tattered and ruined- they looked like a monster! Seeker wheezed, unable to get any words out, confused, concerned, alone-!

**"S.. Seeker? What's wrong?"**

A moment's pause, hesitation. They opened their eyes, drearily looking around at the darkness surrounding them. At their twin. No weird red light, no body- they weren't even in the hall. They were in bed, sitting up in a cold sweat, their twin squeezing their hand...

_"... N.. Nothing.. Must've been a dream."_

A nervous glance cast to the door, to the hall they knew lied beyond, before the vessel slowly settled themself back down. Their tension eased somewhat as they felt Wanderer’s arms gently wrap around them- finally, something to focus on. The cool, comforting embrace of their twin, their completion, their other half. The one person they could never be without, no matter what. Seeker carefully moved to slip their wings around the other vessel, as one hand was kept free, and the other tucked against the small of their twin’s back. 

They were exhausted, always staying up like this. But to avoid dreams… To be awake, and there to keep an eye on the most precious thing in their life. That was well worth it. Wanderer was worth it.


	2. No rest for the weary

Since the scare of a few nights before, admittedly, Seeker had found themself regrettably successful. While they hated the concept of sleep and dreams, while they wanted to stay up to keep a protective eye on their twin, a week of no sleep was wearing on them. They were stumbling and struggling during the already rigorous training their older brother was putting the pair through, failing to well keep up with their ever-rambunctious and lively twin, finding that words and coherent thoughts were slipping away from their mind. 

Really, Seeker wasn’t sure to think if Wanderer taking notice was a blessing, or a curse. Perhaps both- though with pure exhaustion winning out, for once, they didn’t have the strength nor will to object to Wanderer’s insistence on sleep. 

**“All week? No wonder you’ve been struggling so much- you really have to sleep, this kind of thing is bad for you! Come on… Even a nap would be a good start right now.”**

Yes, yes, a nap would be a great start. Well- no, maybe? The tinge of fear gnawed at their mind as their twin took them by the hand and led them home, but the way their limbs felt like led, and their vision was practically swimming- that said yes to sleep. The warm comfy bed, the blankets, the soothing trills and chimes from their sibling, all of it said yes to sleep… 

Opening their eyes to a dark, lonesome room said NO to sleep. No, no no no, that was a bad idea, terrible plan! Seeker rolled out of bed with a soft thump, shaking the blankets off and shoving themself to their feet. Where was Wanderer? Why were they alone? They needed to stay awake, stay alert, find their twin fast!

But as they bolted out of the room, down the hall… They found themself getting sluggish and tired, like they’d just run through a colosseum trial all alone. Where did all of their energy go? Their motivation, their strength, it felt like everything was sucked away from them as they passed a certain point. The vessel looked back to try and see what was wrong, slowly trudging back down the hall where they had been running- and something caught their eye. 

The mirror. 

Before they even dared to look in it, the sinking feeling returned, like an ice-cold boulder was dropped into their gut. No. No. Don’t do it. Don’t look. Don’t look, don’t see it, it’ll be there, stop, STOP- Their mind pounded with screaming objections, yet their body would not obey. Seeker turned to the mirror, stepping closer, close enough to see themself despite the darkness. They looked… Normal! Ah, that wasn’t so bad.

Until the burn from before came back. The burn like a growing fire in their chest and throat, something they had felt in such true intensity only twice before. It made them want to scream and howl until their little voice broke, to crash their fists into the glass and make it shatter, shatter until they bled from the pieces shredding their hands. Their hands… Their hands were aching, and shaking, as if they’d already been doing what they thought of. Seeker shook their head some, rubbing their hands gently to try and relieve the ache, before glancing back up to the mirror.

Pure darkness once more locked gazes with red, unbridled fury. The mirror was cracked, the twisted, raging doppelganger having already driven their fist into the smooth, fragile surface. Seeker took a step back from the mirror, from their “reflection”, silenced by horror.

… Was this how others felt with their temper? That burn… It was anger. Anger they knew well, anger that often boiled up and pierced their mind. Were they actually that scary?

_“No! No, I-I’m a knight! Not a monster! I… I’m not…”_

_“I’m not…”_

Burning, red hot eyes faded… No, that was just warm, soft light from the window. The searing sensation in their chest… Just.. Blankets, curled tight around them. Wait- they were in bed? And it was the middle of the day, it looked like. Right, they.. They had just been napping, after not sleeping for so long. A wasted rest, though- they still felt like they’d just been smashed by one of those stupid crystal crushers off in the mines.

Slowly, they got to their feet, and wandered out into the hall- no mirror. No.. Nothing. It was fine, even if they definitely could recall feeling a lot better in the past. The vessel trudged into the main room of the house, quickly greeted by their twin.

**“Seeker, you’re up! You feeling any better? You still… Look a little worse for wear.”**

They paused, and softly trilled to their twin before thinking of any word response, _“I’m… Okay. Just still sleepy I guess, a nap doesn’t fully make up for a week.”_


	3. Comforts and cruelties

Perhaps it was just paranoia, delusion, but this time- Seeker kept their nail within reach when it was time for bed, not put up across the room. Things always went wrong at night, and with their twin now determined to not sleep until they did first… They best prepare. Prepare for what? For the monster in the mirror? That was just a dream. They… Wow, they really were letting this get to them, weren’t they-

**“Hey… It’s okay. You don’t need to be so tense, Seeker- you could really use a good night’s sleep.”**

Their gaze trailed from the gleaming pure nail, to the hand lightly cupping their cheek, and then to meet their twin’s worried gaze. 

_“Are you sure?”_

Their soft, slightly worn and raspy voice betrayed their fear with a slight waver. Wanderer canted their head a bit, before shifting to put their other arm around Seeker, pulling them into a gentle hug. Seeker wrapped their arms around the other vessel in immediate response, pressing their face to Wanderer’s chest with a soft, upset chirp. 

**“Shh, shh, it’s okay. Just take a deep breath… I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”**

_“You’ll be here when I wake up, right?”_

**“Of course, always.”**

Ah, Wanderer always knew how to soothe them. For better or for worse, the comfort was effective, and Seeker dared to subject themself to their dreams once again. It was safe… It was okay. Their twin was there, Wanderer wouldn’t let anything happen to them- they knew that. They trusted them, always, with anything. 

… But, just because they trusted their twin, didn’t mean they would lay there helpless. The sound of breaking glass had Seeker squirming from Wanderer’s hold, throwing themself out of bed and snatching their nail. The faster they could investigate and strike down whatever threat was there, the less they’d have to worry about Wanderer getting hurt for their sake anyway! Trusting, but protective, always protective. 

With confidence, they slammed the door open, aiming their nail into the darkness. It.. Damn, it was so much darker than usual. They felt like they could hardly see a thing beyond the pure, silvery tip of their blade. Seeker’s eyes narrowed, and they stepped forward- they were of void, the dark would not scare them. Nothing would, not now, not when there was a potential threat to their family. They could devour a goddess, slay any beast of this kingdom, the only thing they had to fear…

Was… Nothing..?

The shattered glass was not a window, not any sign of a break in- it was the mirror from before, now laying on the floor of the hall in pieces. No foe to be seen, nothing to fear. Perhaps for the best, the dumb thing always seemed to plague them somehow… Part of them said to clean it up now, but- eh. They had barely slept in a week, they could risk the earful from Hollow and clean it up in the morning. 

Seeker turned to return to their bedroom, shrugging off the whole matter. It was almost certainly- … Not fine. Footsteps, immediately from behind, back where the mirror had been broken. That wasn’t Wanderer, and they were much, much too light to be Hollow. Their whole body chilled and seized with fear, hardly letting them turn back around to try and face whatever monster was in the dark. Hardly giving them time to react to the fierce eyes in the darkness, suddenly matching them, staring them down. Those eyes… They made Seeker’s black, eldritch blood boil. Ignited a flame, the burn, the seething wrath- no, wait, NO! This wasn’t supposed to be what happened, this isn’t what they trained for! 

A knight kept a cool head, kept their thoughts in line, emotions weren’t to dictate their actions! The vessel shook their head, raising their nail with a shaky hand. Don’t lose control. Don’t show fear. Don’t… Don’t..

With a loud, metallic clatter, their nail hit the floor. 

With a soft, panicked gasp, they nearly jumped out of their twin’s arms. Wanderer started a bit at the sudden movement, sleepily lifting their head to look at Seeker. Their twin paused, glancing to the clock, before just gently pulling Seeker into a hug. They lightly rubbed their twin’s back, trilling and chirping at them in soft, calm tones.

4 A.M was no time to be getting worked up and panicked. There was no need to get upset and panicked… Wanderer was there. It was.. I-it was just a dream. Just a dream, just a dream. Nothing was there, just their twin, and themself. No footsteps, no eyes in the dark, no broken mirrors… Everything was going to be fine, probably, maybe. Hopefully.  
Still, they truly hated sleeping. These dreams, they just tormented them, tormented them relentlessly. Every weary, exhausted night, letting themself drift off as it got worse. Why were they having such trouble shaking the pattern?

Bah, night was just always as bad as they thought. Cruel, unusual, full of senseless torments and dangers.


	4. A waking war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A harsh, self-inflicted pain, a warped reality, the results of a young and tormented mind...

How long could they keep it all up, that was the real question. Night after night, they struggled to stay up, often soothed and lulled to sleep by their twin before exhaustion once more had a chance to try and break them. Still tormented by the eyes in the dark, getting closer, their emotions getting more intense, every night waking with more of a jarring start. Seeker began to pace their room, both assuming tonight would be fine, and yet, ever afraid that it wouldn’t. 

One of the few nights Wanderer wasn’t home, off helping Cornifer with his maps in the more treacherous regions of Hallownest. It should be the easiest night to keep themself awake, no calming, loving embrace to let them relax, no comforting words to ease their fear, no one to ease the increasing anxiety brought on by being alone. Surely with how high-strung they were, they’d never sleep! Wouldn’t that be perfect?

But not sleeping had it’s consequences, just as sleeping did. A sleep-depraved mind, riddled with anxiety, trauma, and fear… That was not a good thing to let run loose, but it wasn’t something they could really help. It was that, or… Sleep until morning, and hang out with Hollow to feel better. One sounded far more sensible than the other, and yet far more horrifying- they knew it was waiting, down the damned hall. What was it? Why was it impossible to get rid of, why couldn’t they ever run far enough, hide for long enough, or forget it on a whole? 

Why did it come from their reflection, that first night, and only grow worse? Why did they seem to be haunted by a monster? By themself?

By… Themself?

The vessel slowed in their pacing, eventually going to sit down on the bed. They looked down at themself, unfurling their wings and taking in what was there. A young, yet tall, spindly bug… Rivalling some average adults in size already. That was probably intimidating. They had sharp, probably dangerous claws… They hadn’t ever used them really, they weren’t as effective as their nail- but those could hurt, couldn’t they? They were all black save for their white head, a head topped with a crown of potentially imposing horns… And their wings, those big, pretty wings. They were stained and dark, willingly even, they did that to themself- so much of this… It could add up, couldn’t it?

It… It did add up to what they had heard before. Being called a vicious beast, deceptive and cold, quiet and dangerous. A ravenous, lethal being of the void, a slayer of the Old Light herself, so rarely using their raspy, rough sounding voice.

Maybe they were a monster. They… They even left their twin alone in dire times. They died and left them helpless in the Abyss. They lost track of them and left them to face a Nosk in Deepnest. What kind of horrible creature could do that to the most precious, perfect person in their life? 

Or… 

Or maybe they should just sleep. Wanderer probably would have been mortified at half of those thoughts, this wasn’t good for them, this… Isn’t what their twin would want them doing, staying up all night and spiralling out of control. As lonely as they felt without Wanderer there to hug and hold them, they’d make due… If they could sleep on a cold, hard bench, they could sleep in a cozy bed with a lot of blankets to cling to.

A mistake. Such a horrible mistake. Seeker found themself unable to see, unable to move- distinctly still in bed, but pinned. The vessel’s immediate response was to defend themself, hissing and shrieking as they tried what they could to squirm away from whatever had them pinned. But they felt weaker, and weaker… As if being drained of every ounce of energy they possibly could’ve had. 

No, no, no… This couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t fall to something they couldn’t even see, they WOULDN’T fall, it didn’t matter what it took. Red pinpricks flashed in their eyes, the fire of their rage and fury roaring to life in the empty expanse of the vessel’s body. The defiant, wrathful strength made it feel almost all too easy to throw off their assumed attacker- the tabled rapidly turned, as they had the monster pinned to the floor.

Red matched with red, sinister glares of fury and rage. The monster- it was still them, now not to nearly such surprise anymore. What was this monster? 

They hated that it would answer.

_**“Rage. Regret. Pain. Pain. PAIN. TOO MUCH PAIN. I CAUSED SO MUCH PAIN, I’VE FELT TOO MUCH PAIN, MAKE THEM PAY-”** _

_“A knight does not act on a basis of revenge!”_

_**“They do not see a knight! I have heard their words, their THOUGHTS. A knight is honest, right?! Honest with myself!”** _

But no one would accept this! Not Wanderer, not Hollow, or Hornet- they’d be horrified. They couldn’t- they couldn’t let this be seen, they couldn’t speak the truth. Someone had already called it out, someone they once trusted, maybe even more… But no one listened to that. Maybe they could keep lying- it would be safer for those they loved, would it not?

Their thoughts were cut off by a fist around their neck, yanking them not inches away from the doppelganger’s face. Seeker tried to squirm, yet… They felt absolutely paralyzed. Paralyzed, helpless to resist as tendrils of void began wrapping around their limbs and body, the monster beneath them melting away- melting _into_ them. It hurt. It hurt, it hurt so much, as the void seeped into their carapace, forcing it to warp. To become what they were staring at, what was disappearing, what they truly were. Why did the truth feel like absolute agony? Why was it so hard to accept?

_“What are you… What have I become?”_

_**“What they made of me.”** _

Dark, hollow eyes slowly opened, and a heavy sigh escaped into the dull morning light. Waking, unchanged... Deep down, a resolve broken.

_“A false hero.”_


End file.
